Merry Tossmass

This month my section at work is hosting our bureau’s retreat. We have several educational speakers surrounded by a lot of fluff…you know food, gift exchanges, and ice breakers (can’t you hear the employees shiver when they hear that phrase..ice breaker? Or is it just us from Teen Mania Land who shutter? Better yet…try “team building” and watch the nervous twitch in my eye.)

Anyway, as we threw around themes for our “Winter Retreat” We unanimously decided on a “Vegas” theme. But that took all of 2 minutes to be shot down. Later we decided that we would make it a western theme, focusing on the finer points of HATS to avoid the offense, side story of cowboys and Indians (or native Americans, as we call them these days). We were calling it our Holiday Ho Ho Ho Down. But it was shot down because “Ho” could be construed as too close to a certain holiday that begins with C (or offensive to a morally loose woman).

Everything we did was methodically picked through by the management team to decide what would and would not be offensive…and systematically thrown out! Now, I want to add that we don’t have one Jew or Muslim in our entire bureau. Most are committed or nominal Christians. Several agnostics, and a bunch that don’t give a rip. I have a lot of upfront time at this particular bureau retreat. I’ve decided to have a shirt made that say’s “Go ahead, wish me a Merry Christmas!” …or “Merry Tossmass.”